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Trolling life… like a boss?!

November 7, 2011

“The Lieutenant has a point. Why bring a cleaver to a fist fight… when a small knife is more appropriate?”

Who said anime fans have to be fat, sweaty people? I’ll have you know I’m one of at least a few hundred thousand who care about sculpting a body of David (or at least, maintain a respectable amount of weekly exercise; that is, keep a healthy weight/BMI) for the sole purpose of molesting pretty young school teachers at the beach so that I can at least not experience every waking moment of my life after the next two years huffing and puffing from just getting my ass off the chair.

That, and all Singaporean males have to undergo National Service (a.k.a. compulsory military enlistment) because our nation is small and needs defending. And also because nearly half the nation knows what it’s like to sleep in the dirt and the other half is routinely entertained with grumblings stories from the first half, you won’t (ar at least you’ll be hard-pressed to) find fat, smelly, loud, ungrateful and ignorant fuckwits saying “HURF DURF ARMY DUDEZ IS BAD” from their beanbag chair with an extra-large cup of Coca-Cola in one hand and a dripping slice of whatever modern snack constitutes heart-attack-on-a-plate nowadays in the other hand.

On the plus side, we get paid to run in the sun, as I like to put it that way. For me, keeping fit is enough (I don’t need to look like a sculpture), but hot damn if having a six-pack doesn’t make one feel warm and fuzzy inside. An unwanted but pleasant side-effect of exercise 16 hours a day.

About the one thing that I have a gripe with is how un-ordered life outside of camp is. God damn there have never been so many games I wanted to play or things I wanted to do before but can’t because of a few things:

1. A laptop from the Industrial Revolution era.

– Compaq Presario V3000, yo. A faithful companion it has been, but like a mass-produced Mobile Suit, skill can only take you so far. If I were to change it now, though, when I come out of NS to continue with my everydayman life, it’s going to bite me in the ass because I’ll have to change a perfectly fine and usable two-year old rig for something better if I don’t want to get blue-balled in the PC gaming category again.

2. I’ve gotten a greater appreciation of practicing my drawing out of camp. So far it’s been going better than before.

– Tekong Island has this tendency to suppress any desires not related to surviving training. I’m serious, I go in and all concepts of time, day, date, and other silly things like hot babes vanish from my mind. Drawing naturally goes off into the mental abyss; heck, the concept of anime jumps off right after it.

3. It’s not like NS gives holidays out for free, it is a gateway to a military organizations after all.

– Unless I were to be a faggot and chao keng (take sick leave for silly reasons like a scrape, mild cough or faking bone ache like devouring a deluxe bag of peanuts, and –excuse me! EXCUSE ME!- I do have my pride). And then there’s the medical leave application paperwork and bunk gossip. Examples do exist, and from what I can see, being a skiving jerk in NS is suffering – but not as bad as Meduka Meguca, har har.

Take, for example, I have Minecraft, and I’m forced to admit that it may be time to let go of my Alpha-era save file because there’s just too many new features. I’m still hung up and obsessed on completing my Shrine of the Marimo, so I’ll have to excavate the damned hole completely first. Also Minecraft Multiplayer with my friends are all but dead. I wanna try making a Soldier-kun skin!!! T_T

And then there’s replaying Dawn of War: Dark Crusade for the umpteenth time. At least I’ve accepted the fact that I play Warcraft III’s DoTA to get humiliated by the AI, but for Dark Crusade there are only so many ways to complete the campaign, and where I live there’s next to no multiplayer support. You have no idea how badly I want to get my hands on a new laptop/desktop so that I can fiddle with Space Marine/DOW II. Or actually have time to settle down and get Ace Combat Assault Horizon. Of course there are other games I’d like to try (some… maybe not so legal) but those mentioned are all that I can rattle off my mind at the moment.

And then THEN there’s the problem of watching new anime. AGE is okay, sure, I can go without a new series for at least 5 years because I’m a guy who prefers legacy seasons of anime (read: watch shit that’s half-a-decade-late) but the fact that there’s a Muv-Luv Alternative: Total Eclipse animated adaptation coming out next year is just a vicious kick in the nuts. Heck, I don’t even have time to sit down and enjoy MS IGLOO!

HOT DAMN WOULD YOU LOOK AT THOSE GENDUMS OR WHATEVER

This picture makes me want to play a mech platform game so badly I start having hallucinations about being in a cockpit. Now you understand why I’m so psyched about the anime; it’s the first time we’ll see TSFs and BETA in full action – even if it’s CG. And I think older people would know that CG, when done right (*cough* Zoids New Century Zero *cough*) can be as good as hand-drawn mechanical action (fuck y’all oldfag hand-drawn rabid purists).

And I won’t be able to have the chance to spend months agonizing over the coming like a shut-in because I’ll be too busy learning how to heave god knows how many kilograms of weight (probably in the 25-30kg range minimum) across god knows how far (probably in the 20km and above range minimum). Not being overzealous is suffering. Well, at least I get to look eye-to-eye with the bratty saviour of mankind. Or maybe not. It takes a certain kind of suffering to mold a man so moe; the rest of us are just people doing our jobs.

Anyways, to close off this proclamation to whomever still visits here that I’m not dead yet and still have plenty of mech-related posts to want to throw into here, have some funny pictures.

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Oh dear, the Inquisition will come a-calling again. And I put in so much effort to beat them off the last time, too…

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The new IdolM@ster anime is another one on my pending list. Damn, I’m out of the loop so far I might as well be a lost electron.

I’ll have you know I totally assed that translation as a joke, but you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t suspect as much at least, right?

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I don’t usually mind advertisements, but when two of them appear and play with a 0.5 second lag in-between each other, it’s terrifying.

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This one is from earlier this year (somewhere around August). I wanted to at least put in a word for Yosuga no Sora (after being so savagely lied to by this video) but there wasn’t a way I could articulate my feelings for this anime in words the way I liked to with mecha shows, so I made this here image for the lulz.

And that’s the end. There are several things I’m aiming for, most notably the Revoltech EF-2000 Typhoon (dat MG-3, and because I’m not pedantic enough to be bothered by ball-joints since the alternative is to wait god knows how long for another nut-busting Kotobukiya kit) and whatever AFA 2011 can offer me.

I’ll try and see if I can snag any pictures at AFA 2011. Yes, I’m going to AFA 2011 and there’s nothing that can stop me apart from a few highly select circumstances that cannot be avoided. And for that, there’s Mastercard nothing that can be done but to suck it up. Ah well.

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