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Some girths just can’t be ignored. As for everything else…

September 24, 2010

“Don’t let it inflate your head, Lieutenant. Go get something to eat. We have a long day ahead of us.”

 

WARNING THIS POST IS NSFW.

Over a three-day period, B-07 decided to monitor the search terms used to find the base’s main network and site for no reason at all. The results, to say the least, are sometimes humorous and frankly, quite disturbing.

DAY I:

Some mecha, some Muv-Luv… a “triangle wooden horse”. Okay you sick fucks, this is what it really looks like. For the record, Kouichi didn’t get his ass jammed on one. Happy?

DAY II:

Lots more mecha, despite my blog being nothing like a decent warehouse of mecha information. Sorry, guys. As for you jerks who cheered when Marimo got brained by the most butt-ugly alien ever, here’s the video. Have fun.

Some dude also wanted to see Yuriko Omega in her birth-day stuff, and I say nay, I am not willing to dive into the bowels of hell, pass all the digitally fossilized CIA records and old 60’s R-rated movies, just to find you images of a fictional American-made Japanese schoolgirl that wouldn’t even make it pass the annual Weaboo Inspection Panel of Moe Faggotry. Try 2chan.

DAY III:

More mecha. I’m used to it. Occasionally I get the meme search too. But what’s this “rose fondler”? Someone forgot to clear the SHARED NETWORK CACHE AGAIN THIS IS A MILITARY BASE NOT AN ACADEMY FOR STUDY OF A ROSE LOVER’S SEXUAL FANTASIES!!!!!!! *throws brick at Bushcown*

Actually, the suspicious search terms from the second and third day are words that I have used verbally, and only to one person. General Raisha? There are men looking for you. They claim to be from the FBI Party Van Division…

Ahem. I really should watch the way I word my posts…

As well, yes, yes, thank you Pokemon creepypasta. Internet prowlers might be familiar with Pokemon 731, the Lavender Town Syndrome and related Lavender Town legends, Pokemon Creepy Black, and Pokemon Creepy Silver. Search them up yourselves if you have the spare time, but unless you’re an insomniac, I would advise against doing it at night. ESPECIALLY POKEMON 731.

Once again, thank you Pokemon creepypasta… for igniting the Trainer in my heart once again, that is! Now I shall go on to “complete” all the versions that I never had a chance to play, one last time. A grand epic adventure of Rocket-busting, Gym-smashing, sailing the high seas, and then finally putting your rival in his place (His, because from Generation 3 onwards your rival is less of a rival than a constant reminder of your sidequest to fill the Pokedex. Pshaw, who cares?! )

No, I am not kidding. I will be taking on the Elite 4 in all the Generation 1, 2 and 3 versions one last time with a team trained from the ground up. I used to have all versions up till Gold/Silver on one of those 66-in-1 cartridges and I really enjoyed the heck outta Crystal, and oooh, the hype when Ruby and Sapphire came out; and finally, the nonstalgia of FireRed and LeafGreen. But now, I don’t have my GameBoy Advance nor the cartridges with me anymore, so the only way left is the emulator. Don’t bash me for it, I promise to play Generation 4’s games as legitimately as possible, or at least until they’re way out of date. Because you and I both know the Pokemon games cannot truly be “completed” in the conventional sense (could they ever!), I’ll just set some boundaries;

– Defeat of the Elite 4; not using them as training targets, but in a story sense (example in FireRed: Beat them once, beat them again when they get stronger after the Sevii Islands fiasco).

– Capture of all Version Exclusives.

– Completion of the Pokedex (or at least as close as possible) in the “Special Edition” Versions (Yellow, Crystal, Emerald).

– Defeat of Red. This only applies to the Generation 2 games. (DURRRRRR!)

– Capture of Legendary Pokemon are not necessary. As long as one version has the complete collection, it’s done.

– Usage of cheats will be justified for “hacks for rare Pokemon to appear as commonly as cockroaches in wild grass” only under special conditions and if necessary (The Pokemon! How do they work!). The cheats will not be used to obtain Pokemon that cannot be obtained at my character’s current level, whatever, whenever and wherever that may be, and no level-hacks or gameplay hacks will be used. Item duplication will only occur under very special conditions. (Hell yeah I got two Sunstones without cheating!).

– Crystal, Ruby and LeafGreen will be played with the Female Character. 😉

– I will then freeze time (read: savestate) in the Pokeworld and preserve the records in a corner of the space-time continuum. Then I’ll release all the Pokemon caught except my epic team. I’m a sentimentalist.

Ah yes. Before I forget, fans of Muv-Luv Alternative who have less than adequate knowledge of the Japanese language might want to look up this blog. It might be new, but we can always pray it gets filled up. And if anything else, at least there’s Cirno.

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One comment

  1. Love this:)
    great post!!



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