The Bright Slap, Offering Angst Relief Since 1979

“I am… a HERO OF JUSTICE!”

Kouichi Hayase, Linebarrels Of Iron

Right, so… Linebarrels Of Iron, END. Let me elaborate the bad points first.

The bad:

- Animation was dodgy. The animation for the entire series was like walking into a pit filled with hills and climbing out again.

- Storyline was compressed, definitely. Examples include Miu appearing right from the start and Soubi staring out as a bad guy.

- Yamashita was nerfed, in combat skill AND personality. Sad thing is, Hind-Kind was never really made to brawl…and that was what it had to do.

- Kouichi’s attitude. It does improve but it doesn’t change, it’s just forward with a rock head and lots of luck. His JUDA uniform must have some kinda luck-buffing ability or something. This point is a major one because it really pulled down the rest of the good points.

- All the girls going red at Kouichi. First it was red with anger, then red with embarrassment. I understand that this is a staple in anime and manga, but there must be something cute or endearing about whiny morons like Kouichi that only girls can see because I don’t get it for the life of me.

- In direct relation to the above, Miu’s random love for Kouichi sprouting out of nowhere. Or was that during the first 12 episodes? Either way it was pretty random.

- Cheesy lines. Only an occasional blotch, but they leave a sour aftertaste. Example: Emi’s catchphrase.

- Everyone looking up to Kouichi and going “GOD HATH DESCENDED!” in the final episode. What was up with that worshipping?!

Now let’s see what kept me watching.

- Animation. At the start and end of the series you can see that they really put in effort for the fight scenes. Also of points to note are Hind-Kind/Bullet Arms against the ARMAs in Ep. 9, Sawatari and his IDATEN, most of the fight scenes with Vardant and Reiji, Linebarrel B v.s. Vardant, and the friendship attack against Glain-Neider by Linebarrel and Apparition in Ep. 19.

- Voice acting. Alot of emotions there; packed a well-thrown punch.

- IT. IS. A. MECHA. ANIME.

- Humor was scattered but well-placed.

- Character development was nicely done, with alot about the Factors revealed including the main reason about their fighting against the enemy.

- I love Ishigami. He’s awesome.

- Eji’s hostage-taker moment. Eji’s jihad moment. Basically, any moment where Eji was a bad guy on the field.

- The whole affair with Yamashita’s gender. Frankly, I could care less which side of the scale s/he’s on and I’m sure the thousands of ero-artists who caught a whiff of Linebarrel’s character lineup are now furiously doodling something very wrong.

- Loveable tsundere Shizuna, moe shota Izuna, Risako the childhood friend, mental klutz Emi who dropped from the sky, team mom Yui, genius loli Rachel, manly science/field man Maki and Hiro, and silent service from the landlady. Some of it are standard character templates, but you can’t deny that it helped add diversity to the show.

So, that’s about that. In a nutshell, Linebarrels is just another mech anime. Well, that’s on the surface. Underneath it elaborates more about each individual pilot’s reason for fighting, and with such a large cast of pilots in charge of special machines (*cough*Machina*cough*) there is much past to be revealed. Emotions were well-exhibited, coupled together with mostly-fitting music and superb voice acting (courtesy of the star-studded cast). Fight scenes, while not always well-animated, were generally acceptable when it featured an ace and a few mooks, an ace and an ace, or it featured Kouichi getting knocked about. Surprisingly, Kouichi’s inexplainable ability to move Linebarrel was his saving point; he’s not very good at it at first, but by the end of the series he knows when to keep his head down and when to stick out his sword (abeit not before Emi-ghost verbally slapped him); he isn’t even what I’d call above-average skill, but he’s good enough to survive. Amazingly the show had no loose ends hanging, ending everything with absolute certainty. The story was compressed but not disjointed, which meant that the show avoided a huge pitfall with this aspect.

To sum it up in a sentence: It’s not Strike Witches quality, but you can expect to be satisfied with this one.

 

Linebarrels Of Iron Episode 24: Steel Flowers

“Really, you’re the worse, Kouichi.”

Emi Kizaki, Linebarrels Of Iron Episode 24: Steel Flowers

“No! My Gatsby hair gel! You’ll pay for this!”

The end of the world starts off with Kouichi mourning over Kizaki’s death from the last episode, then pushing Linebarrel into OVERDRIVE mode. Rachel, Maki and Yui in the escape pod watch Linebarrel surpass their expected limits in always possible and the JUDA members listen in on the proceedings with mixed feelings of awe and sorrow. Reiji remarks that he hadn’t expected Linebarrel to fully “awaken” under conditions like these, but now that it has, he’s convinced that nothing can stop it.

“FINAL FUUUUUUUUUSION!!!”

Masaki is still unconvinced however, citing Linebarrel OVERDRIVE’s astronomical power consumption, variable performance dependant on the pilot’s emotions and other technical nitpicks as reasons as to why he believes Linebarrel will fall to him. Avoiding the crazed Kouichi’s attacks, Masaki calls out what seems to be a gigantic version of Glain-Neider and fuses with it using the Naked, forming a monstrosity with what seems to be Linebarrel’s head. More enemy Machina appear and Reiji is forced to activate the full extent of his FACTOR powers to keep them back. Meanwhile on the ground, Soubi-Machina is pounding hard on Yuriannu’s ARMA until Sawatari steps in to block the blows, both trying to bring back their comrade with words.

Masaki in the fused Machina blasts Linebarrel with energy beams, forcing it back; as a response Kouichi activates Executioner at full power and rushed the giant Machina. Masaki fires a powerful beam from the giant Machina’s mouth that blocks most of Executioner’s power, causing the attack to produce a bright flash of light and fail, and Maki observes that Hub Dynamo and the enemy are still intact up there.

“Hmm, haven’t we seen this in the 50th episodes of two mecha animes before?”

Out of energy, Linebarrel goes silent. While Kouichi is unconscious, he hears Emi calling to him and looks up to find Emi floating in front of him. Emi chides him for going crazy and aimlessly thrashing around just because she’s dead, and not upholding their promise of Kouichi becoming a true hero of justice.

“ZANKANTOU! IKKI TOUSEN(again)!”

Kouichi awakes to reality, and realizes that he’s been doing nothing much all along. With a clear mind now, he rushes Masaki while keeping Executioner at the bare minimum power level. He manages to manoeuvre close enough to deal Masaki a lethal strike. The JUDA members are heartened by Kouichi’s temporary victory and fight harder, while Reiji is pushed back temporarily, and responds to a worried Yamashita that he’s still alive and kicking.

“No… NO! I’ll never be able to taste glorious breakfast cereal again!”

As the JUDA members fight on even harder, Sawatari and Yuriannu tag-team against Soubi to defeat him. Just as they’re about to initiate their attack however, Soubi manages to break from the hive mind control and tells them to shoot him now before he loses control of himself again. Sawatari hesitates a moment before doing so, and then shoots the cockpit, killing Soubi for real this time.

“MANLY MOMEEEEEEEEEEENT!!!!!”

Up in space, Kouichi goes in for another strike against Masaki and deals him a fatal blow this time, destroying the giant Machina and taking out a major card of the enemy forces. While Kouichi is successful, Rachel notes that the dimensional gate is exhibiting anomalies, and the end result is that both Earths will be pulled together and crash into each other before breaking down at the quantum level and then mixing together before being re-formed into one (Star Trek physics LOL).

Kouichi says that he’ll go in and destroy Hub Dynamo, over Rachel’s protests that Linebarrel risks being lost in-between dimension as it doesn’t have enough energy to escape from the closing rift. As the world watches, Linebarrel and Kouichi blast off towards the rift, Rachel’s protest trailing after him.

“We must send all our constipative power to Captain Kouichi!”

Reiji tells Rachel to start up Project JUDA immediately, and Rachel vehemently protests against it saying that it can’t be done without the Flag and Shangri-La; Reiji says that he will make up for their lost. Yamashita asks as to what Project JUDA is, and Rachel explains that it’s a plan to use all available linked Machinae and their energies to power Linebarrel to boost its power. Miu tells Rachel to use it immediately, but Rachel explains that such a procedure will suck the Machinae involved dry, causing the D.-S.O.I.L. to cease function and the Machina to stop operating completely, effectively killing the Factor involved.

Reiji replies that he doesn’t care, and readies his Machina for energy transfer. As Kouichi struggles to reach the centre of the rift, the other JUDA members involved also voice their assent to it, and Rachel readies all Machina for energy transfer. Maki offers to push the final button in lieu of Yui starting the entire chain of events. All the energies of all the Machina (oddly, even Talisman at the bottom of the sea) linked streak towards Vardant in orbit, and using its binder wings as a gigantic mirror, Reiji and the Vardant send the gathered energy to Linebarrel.

“Hey look! It’s another angsty me and and another whiny you!”

Linebarrel meanwhile is having major trouble until the energy blast slams into Linebarrel, filling its energy gauge and allowing Linebarrel to traverse the final distance.  As all the JUDA and Katou members on the ground continue to fight against enemy forces and protecting the now-prone Machinae, Reiji tells Kouichi that even if he understands someone’s pain, he has to know how to save them from it to truly be a hero of justice, and he hopes that Kouichi will become like that someday and take on Ishigami’s and Katou’s role.

With the feelings of all the JUDA members to boost him, Kouichi makes it to the core of the rift and destroys Hub Dynamo. As Sawatari, Yuriannu and Makoto continue to defend the JUDA members, the rift explodes without Hub Dynamo to sustain it, and all the Machinae and machinery from the other Earth ceases to operate; all the people captured to form a new hive-mind were returned as well.

Amidst the celebration amongst the masses for their victory, the JUDA and Katou members mourn the loss of their Machinae pilots and their sacrifices. Kouichi and Linebarrel themselves are lost in-between dimensions. Kouichi is silent until he realizes the Emi is awake, and is in shock as to its occurrence until Emi tells him that Linebarrel saved her. The two embrace and are content until they notice another machine passing by them; they see its pilots, who strangely look like a little Kouichi and a little Emi. A bright flash then occurs, and everything turns white.

A fragment of the Flag in orbit registers Linebarrel, thrown out of the rift and back into Earth’s orbit and sends its position to the escape pod. Rachel realizes that all the Machina Factors are alive as well, and there is much celebration to be had.

“Truth be told Yamashita, I only went for you because you looked like an easy-get loli.”

Reiji, who is content to die while falling through the atmosphere, is caught by Yamashita and Hind-Kind’s Bullet Arms. Yamashita tells Reiji to continue living as Ishigami wouldn’t have wanted him to kill himself to atone for his actions. Hiro arrives to tell Risako the good news, and as he get’s pounced on by the landlady’s dog, Yajima arrives and tells Risako to come with him to meet Kouichi, and the two run off.

Reiji, alone with Yamashita, explains that there were people who wanted Kouichi to become a true hero, and that it happened as a hero is only born as others want a hero to exist.

“H-ho-hotel resevation? What do you m-m-mean?”

Kouichi meanwhile is in a fluster over the whole re-entering the atmosphere thing, but Emi says that Linebarrel has enough power to make it back and that everyone is coming for them. Emi then calls Kouichi by his given name and tells him that he should call her by her given name as well; he is hesitant at first, but eventually does so, and Emi is content.

“Full circle.”

After an undetermined period of time (probably five minutes later?), the final scene is that of Kouichi’s “I was reborn here” wooden marking in Linebarrel’s touchdown pit; the place is now filled with flowers, obscuring the board.

Well that was the end, and what an end it was, fire, death, explosions, giant robots, random energy beams, a Captain Planet moment, Stoner Sunshine scene and a non-canon cameo by Dancougar(WTF?!). On one hand it was rather disappointing as to its fairy tale ending and Kouichi just rushing around and tactlessly blowing up things; on the other hand it was probably much preferable to an alternate ending where, say, Kouichi and Emi are doomed to drift the dimensional sea, the Factors themselves were converted into energy to power Linebarrel (I didn’t trust them to NOT do that), Sawatari and Yuriannu had to sacrifice themselves to take down Soubi, Makoto was gangbanged by enemy fire and shot to pieces, samurai ARMA-Jack was stepped on, etc.

So, great job Gonzo, you managed to avoid total reputation-smearing with this one.

 

Eat My Dust, Garithos!

Max: Break off the test immediately! Get the Knight Savior Longsword back to base!

Kazuma: No! We’ll continue the test. This is a good time to test the limits of the Longsword.

Max: Don’t be an idiot, we’re talking about escape velocity here! A T.I.T.A.N. doesn’t have the power to strike at targets in orbit! Nor is it outfitted to! You’re going to kill yourself if you continue any further!

T.I.T.A.N. Project: The Third Conflict ~ The Battle Of Ocher[Part 2]

*cough**wheeze* LOOT! Well, anyway I finally have time to do the final episode review for Linebarrels. After a few good months or so…

Anyway, this being the holiday season, I bet a lot of kids out there are gorging themselves silly on games. Yes, you heard me right, games.

I can also hear the mums screaming at the same kids to drop those controllers in favor of something less mentally-destructive, like going to the library.

Mentally destructive? Ha!

Games aren’t mentally destructive. Sure, there might be one or two of those weirdos who huff the console so much they practically mummify themselves there, but within a group there are always one or two of those, don’t mind them.

What I’m here to talk about is CONTROL. C-O-N-T-R-O-L. Over one’s gaming habits. Be it at the arcade, home console, or the latest PC hit title you have, everything is about CONTROL. And it’s for both sides; the kids and parents.

Firstly, the parents. I’m not worried about the new age mums who can work, take care of the kids and cook a decent meal, those are fine, they’ve got an open mind. What I’m worried about are those who take one look at the newspaper, see that someone stabbed someone and the assailant happened to play World of Warcraft, and they immediately throw the newspaper down and scream:

“Ah Boy/Girl ah! You see, this guy play and play and in the end he go kee-siao! You ah, play and play and play also, one day you also go kee-siao like him then you know!”

Now, if your kid was playing 20-24 hours of games and 95% of the time you see him huffing the game instead of crack, then your words are well-said. I lose, hands down. But if he’s not, then you’ve got some explaining to do.

Contrary to mums’ belief, games do NOT turn your child into an axe-crazy murderer. They don’t. Really.

Tell that critic on the news to shut up now.

Instead, the thing that turns them into axe-crazy murderers is a lack of control. you might have taught him well and that he was just exposed to bad friends, or you might have let it slip his early gaming years and now your son/daughter is trapped in the bottom of the addiction well. Whichever the case, it is up to you to pull him/her out. Left alone, your child might very well be huffing the game instead. So, what happened that made it this way?

Here’s the psyche that drives a modern gamer; it’s a need to immerse in a world of fantasy. Call it sanctioned escapism.

I can hear the critics rummaging for Tolkien books to throw at me now.

Sure, books had the primary role in illusion-giving back in the days. But you must know that when someone thought of interactivity + fantasy, the gaming world was set to go. Novels, game books, tabletop, cards… they’re good in their own niche corner, but none of them offer the sheer fun that is gripping a controller and running headlong towards that red dragon in the horizon(even though you’ll probably save at the nearby town after 2 hours). You can’t flank a team of Spec-Ops aliens with your equally unbelievable team of SPHESS MAREENS with just a game book. Heck, not even the AI of some games allow for that; you need human players and godly teamwork.

Anyway, the point of playing any game at all is to immerse yourself in the universe of that game. So you’re a sickly kid who can barely step out of the house without suffering over 9000+ allergies. Well, here’s your chance; be a 7-foot tall, death-spewing bone-crushing superhuman who laughs at the aliens by writing Old English insults on the wall with alien blood and bullet holes!

So it really pisses me off when I hear or see comments like “It’s just a game, and yet you’re so immersed in it.” That’s the WHOLE POINT! You chide us for being addicted to the game, but that’s your own judgment. What, you want us to finish something like Halo in a month’s time with even sessions of a half-hour per day and with a straight face? Don’t kid yourself, do you go shopping in monthly sessions of 15-minutes each with a poker face?

Now, a break for the people around the gamer. We gamers are thoroughly immersed in a game, and then the kid brother/sister comes by to block your view of the TV.

Don’t lose your cool now, big bro, they’re just kids. Just pause the game and tell them in your sweetest voice to go to their own room and read a book; or better yet, tell them to join you… though you should scale down the difficulty a bit.

I bet it really shreds your nerves when mum’s doing the shouting in the most shrilly voice ever. Cuts through the bone and all, eh?

Well, that’s YOUR fault, young gamer. Especially when your mum spent the last 15 minutes calling for your help with the chicken which is now smoking in the oven. Every game has a pause button; USE THE DAMN THING!

I’ll admit it, I was once a victim of that as well. It takes time for a gamer to mature up and realize that game !=life . It’s a different matter if your mum uses the shrilly voice right from the start, which means two thing; you’ve ignored her normal queries for 15 minutes before, or she just doesn’t like games. Let’s assume it’s the former.

I don’t want to hear anything from the basement-dwelling gamers. They’re exempt from this.

Gamers, control. Remember, a family is just like a multi-racial country; everyone has differences. Simply put, you want to keep a steady financial base for your games, you’d better start to keep that financial base happy; in other words, keep your mum happy. Buff your grades up to higher-than-average and keep them there. Listen to your mum when she’s calling. Don’t make a face that could curdle cheese (all over again) when she asks you to help her with the chores. Lastly, if there’s a time limit for your everyday gaming fix, adhere to it. The “one more minute” phrase will only put cracks into the wall, and ignoring her completely will kill your gaming life at home. You’ll be spending the rest of your teen years telling your friends on Messenger than L4D will have to wait until you can sneak out to the nearest cybercafe next Saturday.

If any gamer goes into cardiac arrest after reading the last sentence, you’ll know they’re addicted.

So when it comes to games, both sides have to compromise a bit.

Parents, step back a little, let the kids enjoy it while they still can. Educate them so that when they go to the store for Christmas they’ll head for Viva Pinata instead of Gears of War II; this is especially important for the younger kids. I’m plain sick and tired of the moronic media having a field day with a kid, a loaded Colt, and a sibling’s corpse with a smoking bullet hole smack in the center of the head just because the kid was playing Counter-Strike from the age of 4. Teach them the value of earning for their own things; tell them that they want a game, they have to save up at least half of the money to pay for it; adjust that amount according to age. Tell them that certain games are off-limits; teach them that just because their friends bought a game doesn’t mean they have to too; there’s plenty of fish in the sea. And finally, DO NOT GIVE IN TO PUBLIC WHINING! I bet my talking auto-shotgun that if you do, you’re royally screwed for the rest of your child-rearing life; you’ll never hear the end of that tactic and you’ll never be able to defend against it.

And gamers, exercise restraint. Look at the time; nearing the end of the session and you’ve completed the stage? Save and quit. You’ll impress mum by being in control, you’ll feel good from being praised, and chances are you’ll do the exact same thing next time. Pause the game if mum calls for help in the kitchen or with the chores. Don’t pick over the small details like asking for an extra 5 minutes because you were in the kitchen.  Don’t even bother to ask for a spare 5 minutes to complete the level. Do your research; find out what games are favored by the community and what aren’t, because a gamer’s worth isn’t measured by the number of games he/she has, it’s his/her skill, sportsmanship, and control. And lastly, be a mature gamer. See that n00b on XBL spouting shit about how he owned 343 Guilty Spark with a M6K? Ignore him. The n00b taunts you in a match? You reply will be a foot in his visor/his flag at your base/your bomb in his base/his teammates will kick him out. Finally, if you don’t have at least a half-hour to spare; DON’T PLAY A GAME AT ALL. When I say a half-hour, I mean a half-hour before you have to leave, not a half-hour before you reach the destination. Trust me, this can save your skin in more ways than one.

Be a sensible gamer. Help us keep the politicians out of our only safe haven in this world of deceit! >:O

 

A Rocket Punch?! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!

“Office workers saving the day!”

Shunsuke Akagi, Team Dai-Guard

Well I’ve had some time to finish Dai-Guard which I’ve been watching for quite a while now. It’s definitely way out of range of your standard super robot show, but Dai-Guard’s just awesome in that way itself. Instead of diving into monster fights (which are just 10 minutes + at the most) you’re given the personal struggles of the people working to move the giant robot (yes, you need more than a moronic teen to move a robot), as well as the enormous crew needed to support its operations. In fact, Akagi, the main pilot of Dai-Guard, seems to be the only one who’s immune to emotional turmoil; yet is is quite obvious that he is maturing over the course of the series, from brash and hot-headed to driven and STILL hot-headed. He’s not your indestructible pilot of God, but he’s cool enough with the things he needs to do.

Then there’s the antagonistic side, which is the military and official governmental forces. Special Agent Shirota heads the anti-monster part of the army, and right near the beginning he’s often in conflict with Dai-Guard, never fully seeing why Akagi wants to take his robo out for a walk so badly. He often stands on the side of the army in trying to restrict Dai-Guards in the hands of “mere civilians”, but when be has to pilot Dai-Guard in Akagi’s stead he comes to a partial understanding of just how much the Dai-Guard pilots are willing to risk their lives to save the city and possibly the world. Military orders conflicting with his new beliefs keep him from fully understanding, however, until he is forced to call in Dai-Guard to clean up a mess initiated by the army.

The myriad of other characters in the show all have their own personalities. While major character development is mostly restricted to Dai-Guard’s team and their immediate teamates, certain side characters who’re usually stuck handling the paperwork borne of massive public destruction also get their moment to shine through. All that is just a side dish to the main theme of the story however, which is: How do you save the world, and whose methods are right?

The main monsters in the series are called Heterodynes, very reminiscent of the Angels from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Of course, they’re noticeably less malevolent towards mankind that the latter, but just their natural behaviour alone gets destructive real quick. The show takes an interesting viewpoint on these “alien” by not classifying them as an extraterrestrial attack, but as natural disasters, like earthquakes and typhoons. Indeed, the Heterodyne are born out of earthquakes that give out a certain frequency of EM waves, making them natural disasters given form.

This allows the series to concentrate on the side-effects of fighting an enemy inside a city; the incredible damage cost to public infrastructure, the hundreds of insurance claims to Dai-Guard’s operating company,  all the people displaced and/or injured by the assault, and the military force’s repeated attempts to upsurp Dai-Guard from its throne of monster-beater.

All these factors together combined with an uplifting and inspiring musical score at the right times makes for a series that’ll bring you through one hell of a ride, despite the monster-busting taking a backseat. It is heartening to see Akagi and the military working side by side for the first time to bring down a Heterodyne, or Akagi and his fellow workers go around making sure the refugees have their blankets aand canned food, or even just to see Dai-Guard’s operators and the military affirm that they’re all out to save their nation, and that there’s no need to race each other to who’s first. While not your SCREAM OUT LOUD GO ROCKET FIST robot show, Dai-Guard takes a very mechanical approach in all things regarding the series and gives a logical explanation, yet it is evident that the wills of people willing to put their lives on the line are what really keeps the show moving forward.

*Just to affirm; the show is distributed by ADV if I’m not wrong. That was a dub well done.

 

WHAR IZ MAI MOTIVATION DESU KA?!

Nina: *cough* …I can’t believe it… *cough* ….is that a Black Widow model? It cleanly gutted Team Beta!

Francis: Looks like the devil and fights like one too. Morpheus and Vorgens are out, that leaves the two of us and two half-busted Land Thunders. You up for making history, greenhorn?

Nina: You have an idea of how to beat the thing, sir?

Francis: Yes. But we’ve been bitten once; it’s sink or swim.

T.I.T.A.N. Project: Combat Reports: The Fire Corps ~  OPERATION SAVING GRACE

…Hello people.

…I have Linebarrels Of Iron 24 sitting on my desktop.

…but I haven’t had time to summarize it.

…please be patient.

…While I sort out some messes made by Bushcown.

…Mostly spam images and messing around with my emulator game data.

…You can see them below.

Stay off my detergent fix, dammit.

… Ok I must have taken some crack by accident.

1 credit for 1 upgrade bar.

…Hey, he did something right for once. Though I didn’t really need it… All the fun’s gone when you hack an already-broken game.

^About that, I started a new game yesterday night on the no$gba emulator. Imagine my shock when I found out that one upgrade bar cost one credit. I would have posted this at gamefaqs to see if anyone enountered the same problem before, but I’m not going to make a new account just to do a post. So if you happen to see this and had experience with it before, maybe you could kindly explain it to me? Having GGG and permanent Size Ignore is already a huge boon, this just serves to turn Boss Borot and everyone else into mass-mook-murdering machines by the end of their debut chapter.

 

Yay! I leveled up! So did the boss, dammit, yay!

Alan: What do we do with people who have to go~? Why, burn them all before they can leave yo~. And if you stand in my way I’ll just have to mow you down ho~.

Lin: All units, spread out! Hit the bridges; block their civillians from running and their armored support from entering the city!

Joshua: Prevent the destruction of the northen bridge! Warhammers, engage!

T.I.T.A.N. Project: World War XI ~ Second Siege Of New Arcreon [Central Continent Campaign]

I had a lifesaving test today. No, REALLY.

I envy admire those people who can just one day walk into the dining room of the house, announce their intention to go into the wilds, walk out, and then return three days later with a shitload of nuts and a half-dozen freshly-skinned rabbits for dinner. BARE-HANDED and -FOOTED.

Or at least, people who look fit enought to do so. I bet they never had that painful feeling of their leg(s) cramping up in their entire lives. It’s like, your kneecap disappears, to be replaced by some kind of steel contraption that fixes your leg in whatever position that you last left it. You straighten out your leg(s) for temporary relief, and when you try to bend it again you feel like your leg(s) is going to snap in two.

Welcome to the world of the unfit LOL. Or maybe it’s just me… So, watch your stamina, ok? Not being grossly obese != being healthy and capable of running from the zombie horde.

Don’t mind me, I’ll just camp here with my maser blade…

 

I see, a catgirl… would you like an extra loli with that?

“When we travel between stars, a StarWay is formed.”

Dhianeila Y Leisha Altria Ol Yunos, Heroic Age

Heroic Age

People who have seen Infinite Ryvius, S-CRY-ed and Fafner of the Azure in one go might groan at the prospect of following up their anime schedule with Heroic Age; Hisashi Hirai is the chief animator for this series.

Like Fafner and S-CRY-ed, people’s views about Heroic Age seem to border between being the third best show since NG Evangelion and being utter crap beyond crap in standing. Personally however, Heroic Age has been a nice break from all the lovey-dovey humor anime I’ve been watching over the past weeks and it makes a nice ending show to satiate my hunger for mecha anime despite not being really mecha at all… for the time being.

The premise is basically a standard setting; once upon a time, the race of all races, the Golden Tribe, called out across the universe. Four responded: the Silver Tribe, with their telephatic abilitys; the Bronze Tribe, basically space bugs; the Heroic Tribe, titanic beings of supreme power; and much later, the Iron Tribe, humanity.

While the Silvers and Bronze got along well enough, the Heroic Tribe, savage by nature, responded to the Golden Tribe’s call by sweeping a swath of destruction through the galaxy. The Golden Tribe, angered by the wanton destruction, fought and imprisoned the remaining five members of the Heroic Tribe, to condemn them to serve the weaker races for all eternity.

Fast forward to the present; humanity is nearing their destruction thanks to a large war with the Silver and Bronze tribes, instigated by the Silver Tribe. Our main heroine, princess Dhianelia, seeking the truth from legends about how the Golden Tribe left a sliver of hope for our beleguered people in the form of a member of the Heroic Tribe, leaves on a journey to find it. The series starts with how Dhianeila makes it to the location of our hope, in the form of a human boy by the name of Age. What follows is a desperate journey to get Age back to humankind’s remaining territory and the following offensive to defeat the aggressors once and for all.

If you’re looking for character development, expect to find it in the most unexpected of places; straight-laced ace pilot/bodyguard Iolaous’s initial dissatisfaction at Age’s ignorance of basic human behavior is the most obvious example. Dhianeila frequently makes decisions that other people would think twice about, and Age, once saved by the Golden Tribe, already knows what he has to do, and he does a damn good job of it. The Silver Tribe, emotionless people, show a good deal more development than the people traveling with Dhianeila; with such resolute soldiers following what is literally a prophet, who needs character development?!

Of course, we’re talking about a teen with a beast chained in his right eye and a princess with enough psychic power to force a Silver Tribe member into retreat. There is love in the air, but it shouldn’t be too focused upon; it is more of admiration for each other; I cite Kira and Lacus as an example.

Funnies include a pair of twins prone to messing up at times, the captain is a grizzled veteran, the cute nonhuman sidekick is an artificial intelligence that could put Haro to shame, and Age’s initial antics aboard Dhianeila’s ship, the Argonaut. As soon as it is revealed that the enemy has Heroic Tribesmen under their control, however, the series wastes no time in showcasing the powers of the Heroic Tribe, nor the dire situation the Argonaut and later the offensive fleet is placed in. Planets get blown up every few episodes, Bronze Tribesmen die by the thousands in every engagement and drag down their weight in human casulaties, and the Silver Tribesmen are very obviously just a step away from going the Golden path, as evidenced by their technology.

In due time though, the like-minded on both sides gather to fight against a common enemy and to unlock the secret of the Golden Tribe. This series has arguably one of the happiest endings in anime history with most of not all of the cast and sub-cast remaining more or less unharmed throughout the series and most of not all of the dead coming back to life, beating SEED Destiny by a long shot and making Fafner look even more Tomino-ish. Sure, it might feel rushed for an anime about saving mankind from destruction through a long war, but the main attraction here isn’t fifty-episodes about a war of attrition, its how everyone works togehter to advance each other’s races in the end.

In short, Heroic Age is Mobile Suit Gundam without the LALAH! halfway through the series and with an actual happy ending. It makes an especially excellent follow-up for anyone looking to wash Fafner out of their minds if they couldn’t take all the deathfest.

Chrome Shelled Regios

Don’t worry, we’re all in the same boat of confusion here.

Ok, maybe it’s not that bad. Decent action, backstory is properly explained, characters overcome angst every episode. Ok, maybe that was one episode too many. Still, casual viewers might find it a bit hard to get into the Regios universe, but then it originated from a series of light novels, with two manga series supporting it.

FullMetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

3F: Friggin’ Fast-Forward. But it’s still faithful to the manga and the animation is everything that I’d expected. I have no complains here.

 

WARNING. WARNING. WARNING.

Tana: A unity enforced through fear is not true unity!

Kana: Then it’s good, isn’t it? You and everyone elses’ petty squabbles over whose skin color was blessed by which obscure god will prevent anyone from organizing a potent resistance. Of course, I’ll make sure that discriminating is punishable by death. That should solve the immediate under-population problem.

Tana: You… that’s worse. We will stop you here and now. Your days of blatant terrorism are over!

Kana: Words must be reinforced by action… I will teach you the harsh truth of combat.

T.I.T.A.N. Project: World War XI ~ Battle Of Heaven’s Tower [Northen Continent Campaign]

The aftereffects of H1N1 infection, as proven by this conversation.

 

Linebarrels Of Iron Episode 23: How You Die Decides How You Live

“Why, you ask? Because I just think it’s cool to do so!”

Kouichi Hayase, Linebarrels Of Iron Episode 23: How You Die Decides How You Live

“Statue Of Liberty: World destruction DO NOT WANT.”

The episode opens to a forbidding scene in continuation of a few hours after the previous episode; the entire sky of the Earth is bathed in red, courtesy of the dimensional rift now fully open over Misaki city. An international news channel is broadcasting the entire proceeding all over the Earth, and how Katou and JUDA have joined forces and are requesting full support from the UN in order to combat the invasion fleet from the other side. Katou and Emi are coordinating a docking sequence in-between the Flag and Shangri-La, while the newscaster wishes both groups good luck and signs off.

“Go go JUDA Rangers!”

Military forces all over the world get into position alongside JUDA and Katou forces; while the entire world prepares to fight, Kouichi connects to the Flag’s bridge and asks Emi if it’s okay for her to not speak with Katou after being separated for so long. Emi reluctantly replies that ending the current conflict is her top priority, and Kouichi decides that if she says so, then it must be.

“Welcome to Earth, people from… um, Earth…”

Before the conversation can continue further, the dimensional gate disgorges its contents; a fleet of innumerable warships appear and send forth their first attack wave, numbering 600 000 units. Katou, listening to Ishigami’s report about the enemy status, states his thanks for his help, as long as Ishigami doesn’t try anything funny like feed the crew mackerel sushi again.

“I HAZ SHIELD HAX LOLLOLLOLLOL”

As the combined JUDA/Katou warship deploys its Machinae and Jinrai forces, Katou activates a hidden function of the Spheres; using Shangri=La as a focal point, the Spheres start to link their energies together to form a planet-wide energy shield encompassing the Earth. Katou goes through Operation: TERMINO CLEMENTIA, which involves everyone in space clearing the way for Linebarrel while Kouichi destroys the device in the centre of the dimensional gate, sealing off the way from the other universe.

The battle begins, with the A.I. controlled Jinrais doing a fair job against the enemy Machinae. Moritsugu is in top form, easily clearing out squads of them for Deceive, carrying Linebarrel, to get through. Some of the enemy ships manage to get through the ship, however, and Makoto, Sawatari, and the landside forces flex their hands in anticipation.

Kouichi in space is raring to go, but Deceive holds Linebarrel back with its cables; the plan needs full power from Linebarrel’s Executor, and while Kouichi concurs, he remarks that it’s a pretty sucky way to spend the duration of a big fight. To everyone’s surprise and horror however, Glain-Neider appears and, with Masaki declaring that Katou’s actions were long-anticipated, deals Shangri-La a series of shots, severely damaging the ship and destroying the shield system. Kouichi, seeing Glain-Neider, breaks free from his restrains and rushes headlong at the enemy. Katou orders the two ships to separate and wishes Emi and co. and his Katou comrades good luck; he then proceeds to put Shangri-La on a collision course with Glain-Neider. The impact wrecks the gigantic Machina; however, another object is behind Glain-Neider, and Shangri-La’s self-sacrifice is rendered moot.

“We’re falling into the atmosphere!” “Quick! Get the emergency umbrellas and bail out!”

The Flag is blown off-course by the resultant explosion; however, an energy shot comes from nowhere and deals the ship a fatal blow. Kouichi flies in close enough for Emi to teleport onboard, and proceeds to advance towards the centre of the dimensional gate, and Moritsugu orders Miu, Yamashita and the Endo twins to return to Earth to provide extra defensive power, while he and Kouichi carve a way towards the centre of the dimensional gate.

“Boomer Bile! BOOMER BILE! WAAAAAANT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

While the battle rages overhead, the enemy forces that landed on Earth have deployed Machinae that are proceeding to kidnap citizens and anyone that is not firing a weapon at them, and offensive forces en masse, giving the Katou and JUDA pilots a hard time just on that alone. Not even Kouichi’s family are spared that fate, and Risako would have ended up the same if Jack Smith and Yajima have not turned up as well. The Endo twins are using Deceive’s Nerve Crack, but the stress from looking into a Machina’s mind is driving Izuna crazy.

“We’re here to confiscate your hair-care products! It’s for the advancement of our hive-mind!”

Meanwhile Moritsugu and Kouichi have stalled in front of the gate, their progress hampered by Glain-Neider’s core Machina. Kouichi tries to take it out in a single hit, but it is revealed that Glain-Neider’s core, known as the Naked, has the same teleportation abilities as Linebarrel-B. Rachel, monitoring the entire fight from Flag’s lifeboat, notes that the Naked’s D.-.S.O.I.L. is at 370%, meaning that the pilot is a Machina-human hybrid like Eiji as well.

“Check out my sexy… pipes… *zkzkzkzzz*”

On Earth, Makoto is spiralling into panic as his SSDF teammates are picked off one by one. Sawatari and Yuriannu are cornered by an enemy squad lead by revived Machina-human hybrid Sobi, Painkiller and Hind-kind atop Judy-Two’s giant transport are being taken down by concentrated fire, and Deceive is out of action as well, Izuna having lost his mind. Rachel, Maki and Yui can only observe helplessly from their contained control room as entire countries cease resistance.

Masaki and Kouichi, high above the Earth, are locked in combat. Speaking for both himself and the linked consciousness that is Central, he expresses bewilderment at Kouichi’s standing as the pilot of Linebarrel, the Machina built to destroy other Machinae, given that Kouichi’s skill and mental maturity compared to other pilots are inferior. Masaki then proceeds to declare to every human on Earth that their goal is not to destroy humanity on this side of reality, but to assimilate them in the course of expanding their existence, causing Sawatari and many others to question if continuing the fight is worth the price.

“Get your grubby mitts off my Gatsby hair gel, freak!”

Kouichi however, shocks everyone when he rejects Masaki’s terms, and gets back into combat with the Naked, using the upholding of justice as his reason. Masaki criticizes him that his justice is just ostracizing people that don’t agree with the majority, and Kouichi replies that it’s just to protect people he want to protect. When Masaki questions the need for such an action, he replies that he just thinks that it’s cool to do so, again shocking everyone back into action and allowing him to gain an upper hand over the dumbfounded Masaki.

“…  I told you to NOT TOUCH MY HAIR GEL!”

Masaki, however, is evidently pissed that a primitive low-life is spitting in the glory that he perceives humanity’s consciousness to be. Easily evading Kouichi‘s charge, he goes straight for the cockpit. Emi takes the hit for Kouichi, however, and the blade misses its intended target. With her last breath, she says that reality surpasses imagination, and tells Kouichi to become a real hero of justice. Shocked by her death, Kouichi loses it and throws Linebarrel into overdrive.

OMFG cliffhanger!!!

Truth be told I’m a bit sad about Kouichi. What Masaki says about Kouichi having the mental maturity of a kid younger than him while in combat and about his skills being sub-par is so, so true, even this late into the series. I’m pretty sure he’s not such a luck-blessed violent shit-for-brains idiot in the manga, once the Yajima arc knocks some sense into him.

 

Linebarrels Of Iron Episode 22: He Who Eats Demons

“Those who had become Machina knew only one desire: to expand.”

Katou Hisataka, Linebarrels Of Iron episode 22: He Who Eats Demons

“I’m sorry, Mum, I can’t leave now… We’re all going to watch ‘The 18+ Adventures of AV Shizuna‘ later…”

Wet, moist and misty describes the opening scene perfectly. With Yamashita down, the faceoff is now Moritsugu against Kouichi; arguing against Reiji’s logic about JUDA being too weak, Kouichi commences his attack on his former mentor.

“…The Flood Slushie… Alkaline Alien… three cups of Boomer Bile… Boomer Bile… *baaaaaaaaaarf*”

While Kouichi and Reiji slug it out in Japan, Risako answers a call from her worried mum about her location. Her troubles however, are nothing compared to JUDA’s current predicament or Izuna’s whispered recollection to his sister about his brief tangle with Kiriyama through Deceive’s Nerve Crack. Izuna remarks that it was like looking into a vessel, different consciousnesses linked together with a single unyielding purpose; to assimilate any single mind it finds.

“Die rolls a six for Reiji! Counter, Cool Moves and Double Damage activated!”

Reiji and Kouichi, meanwhile, are still at each other’s throats; Reiji easily dances around and out of Linebarrel’s straightforward attacks, but finds that a straight-out match of strength will result in his loss. Taking advantage of Kouichi’s cockiness, Reiji traps Linebarrel with Vardant’s wing binders and pelts it with twin handheld machineguns. Stunned, Reiji easily turns the tables around and mocks Kouichi’s proclamation of being a hero of justice, all the while keeping Linebarrel under Vardant’s foot.

*sound of cameraman hit by random flying debris*

Kouichi activates Linebarrel Mode B, but even the advantage afforded by teleportation cannot let him wrest the pace of combat from Reiji’s hands; his moves are easily predicted and repelled or countered. Reiji responds to Kouichi’s confusion by telling him that his moves are too easy to read and mocks him further by asking if his justice extends to such. Visibly pissed, Kouichi prepares to rush Vardant; Reiji decides to strike first, but Yamashita observing from the sidelines, observes that Reiji missed the final strike on purpose.

While the entire battle was taking place, Katou is overseeing the final adjustments of the devices that will allow Machina forces from the other dimension to enter that of our Earth’s. A message comes through asking for a leader familiar with local terrain to lead the first wave of six million coming through, and Katou picks Masaki and the Glain-Neider. Masaki, not entirely believing that Katou could hold against a JUDA-led attack, leaves somewhat unwillingly.

Meanwhile, Kouichi is teleporting so fast as to start causing afterimages; however, Reiji intercepts them all, and as Yamashita watches, counters only when it will not land a fatal blow on Linebarrel. Despite this, Kouichi is easily beaten to the ground and cornered; Reiji mocks him further by telling him that if he cannot even kill a simple traitor, he will not have enough power to defend all the people of JUDA.

“Ok, good job people, let’s call it a wrap. Kouichi, you’re staying back with me to repair Vardant’s arm.” “W-What?!”

Kouichi, angered beyond words, pushes Linebarrel to berserk status as he did before when Yajima died. Imbued with extra strength, he reverses the situation on Reiji by stopping Vardant’s attack and cutting off its left arm. Having finally achieved his original goal of having Kouichi push Linebarrel to the limit at will, Reiji turns to Yamashita, asking her if he has the battle data recorded down, and it is now his role to help Kouichi advance further.

The Flag arrives at the scene, ready to retrieve Linebarrel and Hind-Kind. They are joined shortly by Katou in the Shangri-La, now an aerial fortress. Katou appears on-screen to remind the JUDA people that in fifteen hours time, forces from another dimension will be appearing to take over the Earth. Shizuna replies that they’re ready to kick Katou and his goons back through their portal and into the Thursday before the last three; Katou, satisfied with the answer, proclaims that he would like to join JUDA as an ally in the upcoming conflict, leaving everyone stunned. Katou reveals that his original goal as commander of the Katou organization was to fight the dimensional invaders, as well as seek allies in that endeavour.  As Katou gives Emi a short greeting, she finally remembers Katou as her own brother.

“OMFG lolishota farm LOL.”

What follows is a short recount by Katou about the history of the other dimension; aside from genetic differences, the entirety of humanity, in an attempt to advance even further and faster than they already were, have linked their minds together into a hive-structure command; there is no individuality, no emotions, only the single desire to advance and expand.

“Too bad Ral, these ain’t Goufs either. But these guys have awesome insurance; you get to backup your brain!”

Opposing this is Amagatsu Kizaki, who sought to combat the decaying individuality of the human race. Digging the long-abandoned Factor-pilot system out of its depths in data streams, he creates Linebarrel, his final work. Katou, who was working with his father at that time, remarks that while his father’s plan required no casualties, it was too risky to implement in their current facility.

“Papa is watching weird things on the computer…”

In due time Central, the main governing body, found out about Amagatsu’s plan; in the end Katou is forced to kill his own father to prevent Central from directly destroying all of his father’s works. While Emi managed to escape with Linebarrel, Katou became a false servant of Central, with his true goal being to unite all humanity on the other side against his own people.

“… If I join you, will you promise not to hack touch my hard disk?” “… Ok. Deal. “

While Emi remembers that her mother’s maiden name was Hisataka and agonizes about Katou killing her father, the JUDA and Katou crew are in discussions over their next steps. The pilots of both sides are less than in agreement after looking back at all the deaths that had taken place, and not holo-Ishigami’s wise words can patch them together. Izuna however, remembering Eiji’s mind, realizes that to unite would be the best; Katou offers his hand to Kouichi to cement his wish to fight alongside him. Kouichi decides to accept not his hand, but his offer to merge.

“[Scenario 1:]…I can’t breathe… *meep*”

“[Scenario 2:] Dammit no, we’re just merging organizations, you’re not going to have to ‘gattai‘ with anyone!!!”

While various soldiers and pilots agonize over their personal problems caused by the sudden merger, the other less-involved pilots muse on their current situation. The JUDA pilots still have some apprehension about the entire thing, though some less than others. Yamashita is wondering as to why Ishigami couldn’t have told them about the entire thing from the start; holo-Ishigami apologizes in his stead, and states that he left Katou to see if there was a less bloody road to saving the world. Thanks to that Reiji had to play the role of a double-agent, killing off Ishigami so that his consciousness could become the core of the Flag.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it in time for the show.” “…Isn’t that a good thing?”

Come morning, Risako is ready to leave for her home; she meets Kouichi on her way to the waiting helicopter, but the following conversation ends in a hug from Risako to Kouichi. As Miu and Risako bid a final farewell to each other at the helipad, Yajima and Makoto intercept Kouichi in the corridors and throw him into Emi’s room. Emi tries to hide her tears by asking Kouichi if he came to see whether she was depressed, as says that it is her duty as given to her by her father. Kouichi says that it is okay to not fight if it runs counter to her own will, but before she can give an answer, holo-Ishigami sounds the alarm.

The invasion has begun.

Okay, first off, good job with the Vardant-Linebarrel fight scene in the first part. That was easily one of the best one-of-one I’ve seen in the anime so far. Plenty of revelations this time round, like how Katou and Emi came to be in their current states, and what it’s really like over at the other side. It’s like classical sci-fic but instead of a decadent society or even space communism, we have the human hive-mind. Awesome. Two episodes left to the end!